By Professor Lee Cahn (Department of Communication and Media)

People living together have a lot of conflicts. Because we all have different backgrounds and experiences, interpersonal conflict is normal and to be expected. Still, many students are upset by the behavior of their roommates or romantic partners. The question is how do you manage these conflicts? The answer lies in the following four steps.

Step 1: Stop
When confronted with a conflict try to calm down and cool off. Some suggestions are (1) exit the room temporarily to calm yourself, (2) get a glass of water and take sips from the glass before you respond to the other person, (3) counting back from 100 can also help calm you down, (4) change the controversial topic for a while to allow time for the air to clear.

Step 2: Think
Take time out to analyze the situation to determine what is really happening.

Step 3: Listen
Most people have a tendency to justify themselves the moment they hear criticism, rather than really listen to what the other person is saying. We believe that it's important to hear the other out before you say anything.

Step 4: Communicate
Assert yourself and make your needs, wants, and interests known to the other parties of the conflict while at the same time exhibiting respect towards them and allowing them to speak.

For more information about dealing with interpersonal conflict, Professor Cahn's course, Conflict Management, will be offered in the spring 2006 semester.

Professor Lee Cahn did research and co-authored the text "Conflict Management Through Communication," with Ruth Anna Abigail, due out in May 2006.